You know you're obsessed when
by The Fantabulous Nemo Dexter
Summary: If you see your friend doing any of these, they might need fandom rehab. If you do these...ah, who cares? That just means you're awesome. Annotated by moi, and Soullessemoperson.


AS MUCH AS IT HURTS TO SAY THIS, I DON'T OWN DEATH NOTE

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You know you're obsessed when…

1) You make your own death note

2) You type everything in Old English Text MT

3) You react to the letters L, N, M, W, A and B.

4) You sit like L on a regular basis. (_Soullessemoperson: I've tried this. It hurts. _N**emo: I broke a chair doing this…**)

5) You have tried sleeping in the L pose. (_Soullessemoperson: FYI, you failed epically at that Nemo…_**Nemo: I fell out of bed and broke my face doing this…**)

6) You download all the theme tunes.

7) You threaten people with "I'll write your names on the internet!"

8) You react to the numbers 27 and 37 (in most cases, an emotional breakdown).

9) You can't eat crisps without saying "I'll take a potato chip…and EAT IT!" (_Soullessemoperson: I still can't believe you did this in a restaurant [cringes] _**Nemo: That was that _one time…_and all of those other ones…**_)_

10) You cannot type ctrl, alt, delete without thinking of Teru Mikami.

11)You write overdramatically.

12)You say 'oh my Kira', not 'oh my God' (_Soullessemoperson: I'm proud to say, I'm not quite sad enough to do this yet. _**Nemo: that awkward moment when you yell this in church…**)

13)You say 'delete' every time you write somebody's name.

14)If your friend does something stupid, you say 'Matsuda, you idiot!'

15)Your computer background/screensaver is the L logo. (**Nemo: Yep. And my screensaver is the death note rules modified to say 'death laptop'**)

16)You react to the word Light.

17)You put a capital letter on the word Light, even though it's not a proper noun.

18)In gym classes, if someone does a handstand on the balance beam you say "It's the Taro Matsui show!"

19)You style your hair like Misa (if you're a girl).

20) Or L (if you're a guy), not that it's physically possible.

21) You have a mild obsession with panda crackers and All Things Cakey.

22) You can't drink tea/coffee without at least seven sugar cubes. (**Nemo: Ummm…** _Soullessemoperson: that's not healthy, you know_)

23) You build castles out of dice.

24) You refuse to eat chocolate normally.

25) You refuse to eat cake without a fork. (_Soullessemoperson: you would not believe how annoying it is that you do this, Nemo_)

26) You compare other characters to death note characters (you know, Lelouch from Code Geass is a lot like Light…) (_Soullessemoperson: it's so weird watching him, it's cos he's voiced by the same guy as Ichigo from 'Bleach'_)

27)Anyone with an afro is automatically 'Aizawa'

28)gamer nerd is automatically 'Matt' (or Mail Jeevas. Whichever you prefer)

29) Any guy with a moustache is either Soichiro Yagami or Watari/Quillish Wammy (depending on how ninja they are)

30) You shout 'I am JUSTICE!' whenever the opportunity presents itself.

31) The same applies to 'I will become the God of a new world.'

32) In maths lessons, you misspell ratio as Raito

33) You use death note as an example for ethical debates

34) If someone annoys you, any piece of paper automatically becomes a death note.

35) You only ever eat red apples.

36) You talk in Rem voice to annoy people.

37) You Google 'Kira' to see if any of the sites actually exist.

38) You write infinite fanfics about the subject.

39) Any mention of mafia means Mello.

40) You handcuff yourself to your friends.

41) You have turned your bedroom into a shrine for one of the characters

42) You visit comic con exclusively to buy creepy, life-size dolls/posters of L or Light for said shrine (PhantomPurpleWolf: I did not write this one. I do not find my life-size L poster creepy, thank you very much. _Soullessemoperson: I do, it stares at me in my sleep [shudder]_**Nemo: What is he looking at you for? I'm jealous. And Lawlipop is not creepy, He's GORGEOUS!** _Soullessemoperson: your obsession is the only thing creepier than him!_ **Nemo: Not creepy. Adorable.** _Soullessemoperson: I'm scared…_)

43) You don't say stalker. You say 'Misa'. (_Soullessemoperson: Actually, I say 'Nemo'.)_

44) You can't say 'damn' without adding 'you Kira' on the end

45) At discos, you do the Ryuk 'apple dance' from the second opening credits.

46) If you have an office chair, you get a plate of sweets and replicate the L scene from said credits. (_Soullessemoperson: they should never have changed the credits._**Nemo: I agree. Theme 2 is just weird.** )

47) If two people drive past on a motorbike, you assume that it's Mello and Takada, so you yell 'Kidnap!' and call the police.

48) You then spend your time in a cell (for accusing an innocent motorcyclist of kidnap and mafia connections, and also wasting police time) contemplating what Light would do in this situation, and whether or not you should sacrifice your memories of the death note to escape.

49) If anyone says anything along the lines of 'It's not real' they get punched/bitchslapped/elbowed/kicked and have their name written in the nearest convenient death note. (_Soullessemoperson: I learned this the hard way. I've still got a bruise, and all I said was "L does not exist in this universe."_**Nemo: That's like telling a small child you own a unicorn abattoir. And anyway, you don't wanna see what I did to the person who said that he wasn't real full stop.**)

50) The same and worse happen to anyone who damages any component of your precious death note collection. (_Soullessemoperson: all I did was lend 'LA BB' to a friend…_**Nemo; He is not a friend of mine. He is just some randomer. And he will pay for taking my precious book away from me, ten times what you experienced…It's been over three months since I saw that book *starts crying* I'm suffering withdrawal symptoms worse than Ryuk's…** _Soullessemoperson: I didn't know that he was the slowest reader on earth. Besides, the only punishment you gave me was stopping me from reading your 'Bleach' books. And it did not work._ **Nemo****: I hate you** )

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SOOOOOOOOO…THAT'S ALL FROM THE NEMSTER THIS TIME. I WAS TEMPTED TO GO TO 100…

BUT I WAS JUST TOO LAZY...

ANYONE THINK I SHOULD?

BYE!

NEMO L DEXTER


End file.
